flying elephantism

Miriam English

Alice: There are elephants that fly.
Betty: Hahaha. Good one.
Alice: I'm serious. There are elephants that fly.
Betty: Whaaat? Elephants can't fly.
Alice: Ah, but they do.
Betty: This is stupid. Just look at the laws of physics. Elephants are too heavy. They would need wings of utterly enormous size and to achieve quite a high takeoff speed to get airborne. And elephants don't have wings.
Alice: They don't need wings. They flap their ears. And only certain elephants can fly. I've seen them.
Betty: Waaaiit. You're talking about Dumbo. The Walt Disney cartoon.
Alice: Yes. [blissful look] It is our holy story.
Betty: Oh for crying out loud! It is just a story, a fiction, a parable.
Alice: Please keep a civil tongue in your head! If you insult our holy book again I shall be forced to take action against you.
Betty: This is insane! You can't "take action" for any nutty belief.
Alice: I'm entitled to my beliefs, and in fact our organisation is working to ensure that the truth about flying elephants is taught in school alongside so-called standard biology.
Betty: I never heard anything more ridiculous in my life. It isn't science!
Alice: Oh yes it is.
Betty: OK. Show me your "scientific proof".
Alice: Here. [Hands Betty a solemn, black, leather-bound book with gold lettering on its cover: "The science of Flying Elephantism"]
Betty: [takes it with a skeptical look] Wait a minute. This is Just the original Dumbo story in a fancy cover.
Alice: Exactly! [pleased look] It has been handed down without a word changed.
Betty: Ummm... And how does that affect the "truthfulness" of the story.
Alice: I'm entitled to my beliefs.
Betty: You can believe the sun goes around the Earth for all I care, but you are not entitled to push your inane ideas on others.
Alice: People deserve to know the truth, to be enlightened.
Betty: What if we don't want this stupid stuff.
Alice: [stiffly] We have ways of ensuring we get even time.
Betty: Oh boy! Fun.